RUNNING ON FUMES

22:08BST 7/8/08
PUDONG to PEK

ive been trying to not scare people, though im fairly positive i look like a zombie. i tried to work on dr. wilson's book while i was in the airport, but i could only stare. just sit, stare, and think about a hot shower. i thought i was doing good until i got to pudong. it was pretty much downhill from there. between having to trek back and forth between ticket counters and the switch between extreme cold and too warm, i had become not sweaty but filmy. theres not other way to describe it.

i havent tried to straight up engage anyone in proper conversation, but i did manae to win that battle of the feiji piao (plane ticket), get through security checkpoints without english, ask why we were getting on a bus to go to a plane, and try to figure out if i would be able to see the shanghai shi zhong xin (city center) from the flight out. whether or not i was able to fully grasp the answers that came ENTIRELY TOO FAST (why do they talk so fast?!) and with words i didnt know is a different story.

i cant tell if the couple in the seat next to me think im an idiot or hysterical. most of the american looking people seem to keep their eyes to themselves and, as such, i havent seen a lot of cross cultural engagement. perhaps they all assume we dont shua any putonhua? when i got on the plane and confidently told the lady that she was in my seat, but if she would like the window, i didnt mind, her and her man just raised their eyebrows like, well then. when i told the flight attendent that i should maybe sit in another seat because i might not understand enough chinese to work the emergency exit, the couple rolled their eyes while the flight attendant really nicely said that if i could manage all of that i should be fine. when i ordered cha (tea), no reaction, but when i offered the guy my sandwich, again they both laughed.

so what does all of this mean? well im feeling a little disheartened bc i feel like i would expect this in france, not the good china. at the same time, why the hell would i care if someone with a heavy accent was trying to talk to me in broken english at the end of a long day? i think ill keep trying my luck with the flight attendants, they have that delighted vibe im looking for. even halfway around the world i guess im still just as vain as ever. maybe its not that though. when i was training to be a TL, dr. wang told us that it is a particular trait of honors students that they seek positive affirmation for their actions; first to double check along the way and second to encourage further growth or exploration.

im looking forward to getting into a nice hotel tonight. after all day sunday monday and tuesday with nothing but a half an hour of dozing here or there, i think im ready to collapse. the posts probably wont be as frequent when i have things to do, so soak up the minutia while its here okay? :)